Our Lead Peer Support Practitioner Wenna Fullerton (an incredible female autistic leader and mum to a beautiful autistic young lady) review of the BBC One my family and autism.
“Up until watching Christine and Paddy McGuinness’ documentary last night ‘Our Family and Autism’, other than what the couple were famous for, I didn’t know much about their family life other than their three children are Autistic. Of course I’ve heard the good and the bad, but I was intrigued to see how their documentary would portray Autism.
I know exactly how she feels as a late diagnosed #autistic woman and parent to an Autistic child however, she has an advantage. She already has a voice. A voice that is well established in the UK. In addition to her fame, she is an ambassador for The National Autistic Society and with 578k followers on Instagram, she has her platform ready and it definitely helps if your husband does too.
I did feel anxious that sharing their story would damage the Autistic community in some way. Another part of me was glad that they were utilising their platform to shine a light on Autism. With such little understanding, it’s important to shout about it, to educate and advocate for change. Hot chocolate and PJ’S on at the ready, I tuned in to watch it.
What was wrong about it?
Knowing a pediatrician diagnosed the children, it makes sense with little understanding before this, they have adopted medical language such as ‘symptoms’ and ‘with Autism’. Sometimes they got it right, but most of the time they didn’t. To then hear the SEN teacher use the same language when talking to a class of students was disappointing. Whilst some people don’t mind person first language, the majority of the Autistic community prefers identity first language. It’s all personal preference and anyone teaching, training or learning should ask which is preferred.
The ‘Beige food’. Whilst it is common for Autistic individuals to have sensory issues with food, not all do and this plays massively into a stereotype.
“Do they understand what love is?” Ironically Paddy has taken this literally. Of course they know.
Invisible Autism? Firstly, you can’t see it. I really tried to get what Paddy was attempting to explain clumsily here, however he just ended up backing up the myth that the Autistic spectrum is linear when it’s not and we don’t have the capacity to feel when it’s quite the contrary.
Simon Baron Cohen explaining that he’s been studying Autism for 35 years and doesn’t think he will ever fully understand it. He’s right, he won’t.
Paddy made a girl cry by trying to relate. I saw her heart sink before my very eyes when he downplayed her anxiety of being late to school. We did see her again, later in the documentary looking happier and he redeemed himself by talking to her about her horse.
Christine says “I see the other side where I think how awful it must be to not understand your children or wishing they didn’t have this condition” and Paddy explaining he had been diagnosed with depression because of how all the things you have to deal with as a parent to children with autism. It’s clear they have spent some time grieving over not having neurotypical children, there’s no denying that, but this poor attempt at being honest and raw came across as heartless.
They haven’t told their 5 year old or 8 year old twins, they’re Autistic yet. This is their choice, they’re their children, however I disagree with them on this completely. Self identify is vital for any child growing up and being Autistic is a huge part of that. It helps if you know.
These parts were all hard to hear, but honestly I expected worse.
What was right with it?
Talking about some of the misconceptions such as being Autistic must mean we are all good at maths. Simon Baron Cohen debunks the connection between Vaccines and Autism. He also said Autistic people should be allowed to be who they are. Never a truer word spoken.
The paediatrician gave a very brief overview of masking and looked a bit out of her depth at times, but it was good to hear about the exhaustion and anxiety as a result of masking.
Christine gets it, mostly. It was refreshing to hear Christine talk so beautifully about her children and how she understands them without making it all about her.
They raised common concerns about the transition to secondary school and living independently. As a parent, these are huge concerns, but it doesn’t mean they can’t.
Paddy is realising it’s good to talk about it. It’s not only good, it’s important.
Paddy explaining that every family’s experience is different. This is so easily forgotten. If you take anything away from watching this documentary, it should be this.
Overall, it was a tough watch in places, but it’s bringing Autism acceptance to the forefront of conversation. Regardless of how this documentary portrayed being Autistic, it has shined a light on Autism.
This documentary was only about their family journey, not my family, not yours. Just one experience. It wasn’t awful and those of us who advocate about Autism, share our lived experience with being Autistic will still be here to set the record straight and educate.”